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| It's not dry, and it's not under-cooked, and it is, in fact, #perfect |
#fritz
The perfect chicken breast begins with a fresh breast.
I used to call them ‘chicken-tits’ and my old man would always laugh, although he ate them anyways.
Back then, they were frozen bags of chicken breasts from M & M meats, (skinless and boneless), and combined with one hell of a lot of frozen broccoli, and a few other substitutions, including sweet potatoes in place of white potatoes, (and one pork chop rather than two pork chops sort of thing), we managed to bring the man down from 278 lbs to a more reasonable 235 lbs. I ate that right alongside of him, incidentally. It took about a year, and his doctor was pretty impressed...I looked after Big Frank for the last few years of his life, ladies and gentlemen and I have absolutely no fucking regrets about that. It was, quite frankly, (no pun intended), one of the best things I ever did in my life and I probably owed it to the man anyways.
As for myself--
The author is 62 years old, six-five-and-three-quarters tall, and about 214 lbs. Surely some of that stems from the habitual diet, which borders on monotonously healthy even at the worst of times…
This one has the bone in and the skin on. You’ll have to decide if I’m saving any money on labour or not.
The coating mix begins with Shake & Bake, Southern Style, Extra Crispy and then we go on from there. Today I used lemon pepper seasoning, seasoning salt, black pepper, and a little shake of dried parsley flakes.
The oven was set and pre-heated for a few minutes at 375 F. We cook using non-stick spray and on tinfoil which helps with the clean-up, although the pans will inevitably get blackened over time.
This is the (much) larger of two chicken breasts from Food Basics, which we got this morning for $8.51 CDN. We saw the squash in the flyer, at $1.88/lb or kg or something like that. The grocery receipt reveals that we saved $0.75 on the #squarsh as I like to call it.
Frankly, the first thing you do with squash is to sharpen up that paring knife, maybe even a good sized knife. I cut one end off to make it sit flat, and then, carefully controlling it, cut down, away and on the side away from my soft white underbelly.
By the time you have cubed that up, and put it in a good-sized pot, you will realize that it is, in fact, a shit-load of squash for one guy and you sure as hell wish you had freezer bags around the house but you don’t.
As long as we were using up a few of the carrot sticks, we stuck that in the sink and did a change of the cold water in that there plastic tub…
Yeah. We got the pickles for like $2.49, (again, we
probably saw that in the flyers a few days or weeks ago), and if I don’t mind
saying so myself, and after about an hour in the oven, turning it once or twice
to properly scorch up the skin on top a bit, that is literally the perfect
roasted chicken breast. In terms of bachelor survival, maybe even just scruffy old man survival, it's all good.
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| Admittedly, a shit-load of squarsh. |
I still have half of that left, and at least two or three more servings of the squash.
Leftovers is good, and one could always slap that chicken on a bun with mayo, tomato, that last leaf of Romaine, a dash of mustard, and oh, yeah, that fucking cheese that disappears and reappears, apparently on some kind of schedule of its own.
#fritz
END
Our staff photographer Zach Neal has books and stories available from Google Play.
Thank you for reading, ladies and gentlemen.
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