Testing Schneider's Honey Garlic Chicken Wings. #fritz

#fritz

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks to the Boss for a gift card valid at Metro and Food Basics.

We’re testing out the Schneider’s Honey Garlic Chicken Wings, which were on sale, ostensibly, in the flyer for this week.

We picked up a head of Romaine lettuce, (nice, and dark, and green, hell, we even got a bit of a shower as the overhead mister cut in), a tomato, fourteen Brussels sprouts, hand selected by yours truly even though I’m half blind most of the time, and I had to wait for some asshole to get out of the way, oh, yeah, and a box of Captain Heinlein’s Pan Sear Haddock Fillets, uh, the Traditional Recipe. (Not exactly as pictured, in other words.)

We're trying to eat more seafood, also; learn how to cook it properly.

More on that some other time—oh, yeah, we got a $1.00 bag of no-name salt-flavoured; hell, even potato-flavoured chips and a tub of French Onion dip.

Honestly, it’s like six or seven items, one bag of groceries for just under thirty dollars…

I reckon it’s worth it.

It's better than dying, after all.

One fucking dollar.

Something to look forward to, as we lay on our monastic cot, in our monastic cell, studying Byzantine mosaics and eating chips and dip sort of thing. Etc.

There were exactly twelve wings, or winglets as they are called by some wingnut who writes ad copy for the weekly grocery flyers…

I swear to God, that’s what it said.

‘Nuff said on that subject, but we were a bit distraught to discover one measly little packet of sauce in aforesaid box of chicken wings. (Note: after cooking and plating, there is indeed about half the sauce left over. What in the hell do we do with exactly one ounce of sauce is a very good question.)

Interestingly, or not, the sale price was $10.99. Just to repeat, twelve wings and one little packet of sauce for eleven bucks, on sale.

Argh.

The instructions clearly state these are not to be microwaved, but baked in an oven pre-heated to 400 F and cooked for thirty-five minutes or until an internal temperature of 165 C or something like that…I’d have to look that up in the Ontario Food Safety Guide.

Basically, we just shut the oven down after thirty-five minutes, and what with one thing and another, we let that sit for another ten minutes. The resulting wings were pretty much perfect insofar as that sort of thing goes...

That being said, the sauce is basically warmed up in hot water, and one wonders, considering I’m only one guy, (plus me. – ed.), what the hell we’re going to do when we go to cook the other six wings, that, is one very good question.

Ah, the salad is a winter salad, consisting of Romaine, tomato, onion, and red pepper. If we use any dressing at all, it will be Thousand Island because that is the one and only dressing in the fridge, and it’s lasted these last three years now, so why would we have more than one. This stuff don’t exactly last forever, after all. Sooner or later, I will rinse out that bottle and just throw out that bottle whether it’s empty or not—

Carrot sticks are self-explanatory enough…any asshole can do that, as I have proven before. 

The salad.

Also, a stick of celery--but we digress.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is a story for another day. (He means the fish, I think. – ed.)

Which -- ed. is definitely looking forward to.

 

#fritz

 

Notes. This story has been updated to indicate that it has been updated. Ah, the food was very good, incidentally. Also, #beer you don't want to forget about that.

Okay, so our good friend and colleague, Louis Shalako, has all kinds of books and stories on Smashwords. Some of them are free.

Images. Zach Neal.

Thank you for reading, ladies and gentlemen.